My Immortal
by Aki T
Summary: Song-fic to Evanescence's "My Immortal." Angsty. InuKag. Please review.


My Immortal  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Inuyasha, nor do I own any of the Evanescence songs. Evanescence rocks . . .  
  
Author's Note - Hi! Back with another one-shot for ya! I got to open an early Christmas present, and it was the Evanescence CD! Yay! And after hearing the song "My Immortal," I thought . . . well . . . WOW. ^_^ Okay, okay. So there's a TON of song fics for this, but I don't care. It's not based on any of the other ones, and it's my own little depressing story, so THERE. Please review! Arigatou!  
  
***  
  
Pure, crystal tears spilled onto soft flesh, slipping and sliding over narrow, delicate fingers, absorbing into soft, silky black strands of hair. She collapsed onto her bed melodramatically, droplets of water soaking the worn, clumpy cloth that was her pillow. Small hands wrapped themselves around its own frail body, and the girl who gave life to these hands rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, her slight frame shaking with sobs that racked her spine.  
  
"I . . . hate . . . him," she choked out between whimpers and cries. "I . . . hate . . . him . . . I . . . hate . . . both of them . . ."  
  
Kagome lifted a single hand and roughly wiped her eyes, bowing her head so as to allow the woven strands of black to hide her eyes. "But . . . I love him . . ." she continued with a mix between a smile and an angry snarl. "That . . . BASTARD . . . I hate him. I love him . . ."  
  
She growled low in her throat, her arm leaping away from its position across her chest and swiping the small jar that resided on her desk. Glass shattered and four small, glimmering shards clattered to the floor as her frail hand freed its grip upon the jar, hurling it at the wall.  
  
"I hate you, Inuyasha! I hate you! Damn you for stealing me - damn you for taking away my heart!"  
  
~  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
~  
  
She threw herself back against the pillow, still shuddering from gasps and sobs as she closed her eyes, sighing heavily. "What is it, Inuyasha? Am I just not good enough? Huh? What is it? Am I too ugly? Weak? Stupid? Or is it simply the fact that I'm not your precious Kikyo?" The questions passed by her lips as though she was actually speaking to him, instead of merely stating her thoughts.  
  
"You want the jewel to become a full demon - fine. I don't care. But if you're going to become a full demon, and forget about everybody else . . . then why do you still go back to her?"  
  
Kagome opened her eyes slowly, blinking as she shifted on her bed. The tears had ceased but her eyes were still red and puffy; she felt drained, almost as though she had cried the entire Nile River.  
  
"I want to forget you, Inuyasha. I don't want to be hurt anymore . . ."  
  
~  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase . . .  
  
~  
  
"I want to forget you . . . because I'm in love with you."  
  
Kagome sat up stiffly, allowing a soft, apathetic chuckle to escape her lips.  
  
"I hate you so much, Inuyasha. Don't you see? I hate you . . . and I love you . . ."  
  
Her gentle brown eyes overflowed with salty droplets again as she buried her face in the covers, her hair draping over her beautiful face like a curtain.  
  
"I just don't understand, Inuyasha . . . in all the time we've been together, when have I ever hurt YOU? When have I ever NOT risked my life to save YOU? I've been guiding you this whole time . . . but I guess it's just not enough." The blankets beneath her now sported a good-sized puddle that leaked from her eyes. "I never said I could heal your heart, Inuyasha . . . but couldn't you at least let me try? Couldn't you have done that . . . before I gave you MY heart?"  
  
~  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
~  
  
She sat up again, standing at last as she delicately placed her feet on the floor, stretching, yet still crying.  
  
"If only you knew of my desires, Inuyasha," she murmured, bending down to trace her fingers through the debris on the floor. "Gods . . . if only you knew . . ."  
  
Her index finger slid past a large chunk of glass that left a thin cut embedded in her skin. She sighed, lifting the piece with her good hand, sliding it across her palm, watching as blood sprang to the surface of her smooth skin. After a moment, she gently closed her hand, feeling the slippery liquid spread across her skin.  
  
"See what you've done to me, Inuyasha?" she whispered. "This is what happens to desire . . . if this is love, then I don't want it anymore."  
  
She tossed aside the glass, wiping her hand on her skirt. It stung, but she didn't wince. Love was pain. And she was in love.  
  
"The mistakes you've made," she began in a soft voice, "you see what the results are? Do you see now, what the consequences are for your actions in the past?"  
  
~  
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating mind  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
~  
  
Kagome's eyes fluttered closed again, and images of the silver-haired hanyou flashed across her mind.  
  
"Damn you, Inuyasha!" she screamed. "Stop DOING this to me!"  
  
She fell to her knees, blood still dripping from her hand as she wept again. Flashbacks of the dreams that plagued her at night sent a shudder down her spine. Desire and passion, want and need; it haunted her. She needed to have this.  
  
Her eyes snapped open as Inuyasha's words flew back into her thoughts:  
  
"I can't live without you, Kikyo. I will never leave your side . . ."  
  
Kagome screamed, slamming her hands down upon the broken glass below her; blood was shed again as the fragments of glass sliced across her fingers and palms.  
  
"Why, Inuyasha? Why are you doing this to me? Are you TRYING to hurt me?"  
  
~  
  
Your face, it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice, it chased away  
  
All the sanity in me  
  
~  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase . . .  
  
~  
  
"Kagome."  
  
That single word, that single name that evoked so much rage and hatred in the young girl's heart caused her to whirl around so quickly that she actually slipped. She stood, shaking with suppressed anger, glaring down the hanyou with more ferocity than a person could fathom.  
  
"GET OUT OF HERE! GET AWAY FROM ME! I HATE YOU, INUYASHA! I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!"  
  
She hurled the same chunk of glass at him, narrowly missing his eye. A thin cut appeared on his right cheek, and he sighed, unmoving.  
  
"Kagome . . . why are you doing this?"  
  
"WHY AM I DOING THIS?!" she shouted back, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him fiercely. "WHY?! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY, INUYASHA?! IT'S BECAUSE . . . IT'S BECAUSE I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"  
  
Inuyasha pushed her backwards, pinning her to the wall, gripping her wrists above her head.  
  
"Kagome, I don't care if you hate me," he said in a whisper, his voice softer than usual. He leaned forward and kissed along her cheek, licking away her tears gently.  
  
Kagome struggled weakly against his hold, letting out a shaky sigh.  
  
"Inuyasha . . ."  
  
"Kagome, how many times have I hurt you? How many times have you run away because of me?" He sighed heavily, meeting her gaze, his thumb stroking her cheek. "How many times . . . have I risked my life to save you? I've been trying to guide you, but I guess it won't be good enough. After all, I have Kikyo, right? I don't love her, Kagome . . . I would never die to protect her."  
  
"And what, you'd die for ME instead?" Kagome snarled, her eyes flashing.  
  
"Yes."  
  
~  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
~  
  
Kagome suddenly freed herself of his grip, shoving his hands away, then fiercely wrapping her arms around his waist, sobbing into his chest.  
  
"Inuyasha . . . you'll never . . . you'll never belong to me . . . you'll always be Kikyo's." She tightened her grip on his torso, nuzzling him softly. "I've tried to hard to accept this . . . but I just can't. I'll always be alone . . . and I can't accept this."  
  
"Why not, Kagome?" he asked quietly, tilting her chin up to look at her.  
  
"Because . . . I'm in love with you."  
  
~  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along . . .  
  
~  
  
Their lips met and Inuyasha's hands pulled her tightly to his chest. She fell limp in his hold and their lips parted, each tasting each other as he held her firmly in his arms, resting her back against the wall.  
  
They broke apart and Inuyasha's forehead rested upon hers. He smiled adoringly, nuzzling her lips gently. Kagome sighed dreamily, breathing heavily.  
  
"What about . . . what about Kikyo?"  
  
Inuyasha pressed his lips firmly to hers again.  
  
"What about her?"  
  
Kagome felt tears well up beneath her closed eyes, and she clung to him desperately, crying against his neck.  
  
"I will never betray you, Kagome. I love you too much. I will never leave your side . . . I'll be with you forever. I promise, you won't be alone anymore. You'll have me . . . all of me."  
  
~  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me.  
  
~ 


End file.
